Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
ATD – At the Doctor’s
BFF – Best Friends Funeral
BTW – Bring the Wheelchair
BYOT – Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM – Covered by Medicare
CUATSC – See You at the Senior Center
DWI – Driving While Incontinent
FWBB – Friend with Beta Blockers
FWIW – Forgot Where I Was
FYI – Found Your Insulin
GGPBL – Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA – Got Heartburn Again
HGBM – Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO – Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO – Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL – Living on Lipitor
LWO – Lawrence Welk’s On
OMMR – On My Massage Recliner
OMSG – Oh My! Sorry, Gas
ROFL..CGU – Rolling on the Floor Laughing…Can’t get Up!
TTYL – Talk to You Louder
WAITT – Who Am I Talking To?
WTP – Where’re the Prunes
W2P – Waiting to Pee
WWNO – Walker Wheels Need Oil
Hope these help!
GGLKI – Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
I was tagged by the Fabulous Abby to participate in a fun game of virtual tag, wherein I state five goals for Fall.
So I had a little conversation with myself.
Ego: hmmmmm. I'm so perfect already, what could I possibly need to do?
Id: You sack of dog doody, you have TONS of ways to improve! Like work on your conceitedness...you need to be nicer to people! For example, when you come home from work--don't pick on your poor spouse if you're tired.
Ego: OK, you got me there, I'll make a conscious effort to be cheerful when I get home. So now I'm cool, right?
Id: Nope. Far from it. When are you gonna get off your duff and go back to Pilates class?
Ego: nyah nyah! I already signed up for class, it starts in two weeks. Besides, I've started eating way better and have lost weight. So there!
Id: Yeah, but your attempts at cooking are pathetically lame!
Ego: Well, I did buy a book on easy Chinese cooking, it's in the mail. I promise to learn how to make some decent vegetarian dishes that taste good.
Id: Speaking of books, what ever happened to your resolve to start a book list on this blog?
Ego: I don't know! I got busy!! Why do you keep ragging on me?
Id: It's my job.
Ego: Well, you need to lay off, because my last goal is to RELAX and enjoy the lovely Fall weather out on the Catio with The Cats.
I'll keep you posted on how I do!
Oh, and I just finished reading The Hangman's Daughter, it was fantastic! I got it for $0.99 on my Kindle with the daily deal. (You have GOT to sign up for the Daily Deal, it rocks.) Did you know that the job of hangman was a hereditary job in Europe? Neither did I.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and
decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a
practice together to share office space and personnel.
Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist;they
put up a sign reading:
"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors".
The town council was livid and insisted they change it.
So, the docs changed it to read: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids" which was
also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign.
"Catatonics and High Colonics" - No go. Next, they tried "Manic Depressives
and Anal Retentives" - thumbs down again. Then came "Minds and Behinds" -
still no good. Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes"
- unacceptable again!
So they tried "Analysis and AnalCysts" - not a chance. "Nuts and
Butts" - no way.
"Freaks and Cheeks" - still no good. "Loons and Moons" - forget it.
Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with:
"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones - Specializing in Odds and Ends". Everyone loved it.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
I want to show you some fun work stuff.
Let me introduce to you the World's Worst Coffee, guaranteed to rot your gut and clean you out. This crap must be government surplus coffee from the 30's, it's THAT bad.
And people drink it by the gallon, mainly because it's free.Dysentery is free, too, but you don't see folks lining up for that...
I bring a cup from home.
::bowels doing happy dance::
Friday, September 16, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
I'll never tell...
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Scott almost drove off the road.
I ended up deforesting my legs the week before my surgery. In four months the hair grew an inch and a half...and I think it was still getting longer. My question is, would it have grown forever? Or is there some predetermined terminal length?
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
I would LOVE to hear your thoughts...please leave me a comment!
UPDATE: Keep the comments coming! I want to do another related post and I need your input!
Hurrah for friends!
Saturday, March 26, 2011
I ate my sandwich and walked around the plant.
I was actively lazy for three weeks, and boy, was it ever great! No deadlines, no compulsion to clean, no nothing! Just hang out, watch the Cats, and enjoy life.
How soon to retirement?
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
With stars to fill my dream.
I am a traveler of both time and space
To be where I have been.
To sit with elders of a gentle race
This world has seldom seen.
They talk of days for which they sit and wait
When all will be revealed.